The Worst Harp Player

[unknown-user]

Do we dare have a thread on who we think is the worst harp player? Let’s limit it to recordings. Is there a Florence Foster Jenkins of the harp world? Does a badly regulated harp count? Too bad we can’t post anonymously.

[Amiable Aardvark]

Let’s also limit it to people who are DEAD, ok? Saul, why do you start threads like this?

[unknown-user]

No soap, radio!

[unknown-user]

I believe I have found the world’s worst recorded harpist. Her name is/was (unknown if she is living) Akhna Akhantenskaija, a Ruthenian harpist. She studied in the Academic College of the State Conservatory Institution of East Berlin, and was or is principal harpist with the Academic State Radio Symphony of East Berlin. Her LP, translated as “Artistry” appeared on the Monitor label, priced at $1.99 in 1975. One side was taken up with her solo transcription of Ravel’s Bolero, which was 22’45” long. The other side was the Variations on the theme of “Carnival of Venice” by Posse, Bochsa, Godefroid and modern composer, Aronchikl. His variations consisted of fox-trot, polka, sarabande and rumba, followed by a fugue and cadenza.

Her harp had certainly never been regulated, and many of her strings were false. Her sense of rhythm was completely obliterated by her sense of rubato. Her dynamic range was from pp to mf, and mostly pp. She could play rather fast at times, and was very lugubrious at other times. She had a degree of passion evident, but not much else. She is my selection as the world’s worst harpist.

[Cheryl Z.]

Saul,

What is that you hope to accomplish and/or gain by bashing on someone else?

[Bonnie Shaljean]

Yes. GIVE IT UP. You seem to be the only person interested in perpetrating this hey-let’s-all-diss… thread, which was drifting nicely down to the horizon until you just had to bring it back up again. What is the point of this? Don’t you think people have feelings? Honestly, who cares who the world’s worst harpist is? Or who qualifies as mean girls? Maybe you should get out more –

[Mel Sandberg]

Saul, I read your post with fascination.

[Bonnie Shaljean]

Or has the fact that this is April 1st got anything to do with it, I wonder?

[Bonnie Shaljean]

Hmm, dunno after all.

[unknown-user]

I was immediately suspicious, too, when I saw “Ruthenian” in there.

[andy-b]

I have to admit, there are days when I think I must be the world’s worst…especially when listening to a recording of myself or when trying to learn

[unknown-user]

I can really relate to what you’re saying!

[tony-morosco]

Often. It usually is only when I play for others and get a positive response that I can remember and admit that I’m not all that bad.

[unknown-user]

Ruthenia is very close to Fredonia and Lower Slobbovia.

[unknown-user]

And it’s not the Fredonia in upstate New York.

[Author]

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