The Strangest Wedding of my Career

[David Ice]

I always seem to find the weird ones, but today’s wedding takes the cake. I was to play prelude, the unity candle, and post-recessional music, plus the cocktail hour. Everybody was very friendly and congenial. But it was certainly STRANGE.

1. Bride and all bridesmaids wore tennis shoes. Ok, seen that before.

2. The singer for the processional sat on a black box that was painted to look like a skull. She sang an original song. Sample lyric: “If they name a town after you, it’s not my fault.”

3. The bride and groom had written their own vows. They were one word each. The bride to the groom: “Godzilla.” The groom to the bride: “Pickle.”

4. And my favorite, the pastor. He had long hair, a cowboy hat and cowboy boots, and wore a dark green polyester leisure suit. And he did the ceremony as Elmer Fudd: “Mawwidge is a vewwy special thing fow two people who wwuve each ower.” The only thing missing was the laugh and “waskally wabbits.”

I have pictures. You can’t make this stuff up.

David Ice

[Sid Humphreys]

I saw the title of this post and knew that it was from you before I read it! I love you David!!

[Gretchen Cover]

Oh, David, I’ve been waiting so long for another entertaining story from you. Thankfully, this one didn’t involve a disaster, too:) Thanks for sharing your latest adventure.

[carl-swanson]

I hope your processional was BRING IN THE CLOWNS.

[Sylvia]

Please post the pics.

[Alison]

yeah, & they’ll pay you in groats………

[kay-lister]

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL . . . ! TRULY UNBEWIEVABLE!!!!!!!!!!!!

I agree, it’s been awhile and NOT disappointing! Keep em coming David – you just kill me!

Kay

[Janis Cortese]

The bride to the groom: “Godzilla.” The groom to the bride: “Pickle.”

We can only hope this wasn’t the continuation of an argument about the name of their hypothetical firstborn.

[kreig-kitts]

I wonder if the minister was doing a tribute to “The Princess Bride”. The wedding scene is rather famous among Gen Xers if you’re not familiar with it.

[Author]

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