Devastated

[emily-jaeger]

This is actually about piano, but it can certainly relate to any musician. I just got a call from my piano teacher today that he just received a job offer out of state, and is going to take it. He’ll be leaving in September. I am beyond crushed. I literally bawled my eyes out for hours tonight. He is only my second teacher I’ve had. The first one I had made piano a chore and after eight years with her I hated piano and wanted to quit. She forced to play music I hated, and only allowed me to copy her exact interpretation of the music. When I switched over to my current teacher I went from despising the piano to becoming totally obsessed within just a few months. Within a year I was playing up to 4 plus hours a day—just for fun! I have now been with him for 5 years. He has transformed my idea of music and it has become my ultimate passion. He taught me that music is more than notes on a page; it is an art. Now when I play, both harp and piano, I become one with the music, and I’m able to put a part of me into every note. This is what my teacher has guided me, taught me, and inspired me to do. And now he is gone. I just don’t know what to do. I can’t imagine studying with anyone else. Has anyone else had to go through this? How do I pick myself up and start up with a complete stranger without constantly comparing him/her to my current teacher? How do you deal with losing your mentor, the person that made you into the musician you are today? Please help!!!!

Emily

[Sylvia]

Sounds like he taught you well, and maybe you don’t really need a piano teacher anymore.
I can relate to your problem because many years ago, my harp teacher did the same thing. The new teacher at the university was awful, and I just hated her, so I quit playing. It took me four years to save up to buy a harp, but I did it and re-learned by myself (I couldn’t play at all after four years of not playing). I never had another teacher.
So whatever you decide to do, the world does not end…it’s just a new beginning.

[Angela Biggs]

Emily, it sounds like you have a very good teacher, and it’s going to be difficult to see that relationship end. But what a teacher gives you lasts long after you’ve parted ways, and he’ll always be in your life in that sense. (I mean, my high school chorus teacher was unfair and downright unkind to me — but in my thirties I still use things she taught me every day, and I’m still grateful for them!)

Nobody takes an out-of-state move lightly, so this new job is probably something really exciting. As you grieve, try to remember that and be pleased for him. Empathy in the midst of pain is difficult, but possible, and a good skill to cultivate.

While you grieve and cry, make the most of the time you have left. Your teacher has given you some warning, which was kind of him. So how do you want to use the rest of your time? After 13 years of studying piano, are you able to guide your own study? If you’re not sure how to take partial or full responsibility for your own direction and progress, ask him about it while he’s still available to you. Ask him how he decides what music to give you or look at with you, how he decides the structure of your lessons, why he does the things he does. You may be ready to look at your next “teacher” as a coach or guide instead of a mentor.

And if you teach someday, whether it’s music in conjunction with a performing career, math in a public school classroom, or teaching your children the ABCs, remember this teacher’s approach and what made it special, then give it your own spin. I guarantee you that the best gift you could give him is to be an inspiring teacher yourself.

[mia-strayer]

I know how you feel guys! My very first Harp teacher was named Gina! She was my very first tarpon voice teacher! I still miss her to this day! Because she moved to Tucson Arizona! And I cannot get a hold of her! I write to her! And Calder on my iPhone! I even send your emails but they come back! But at least I have something to remind me of her! My pedal harp!

The day Gina moved away was a very sad day I cried my eyes out and I still miss her to this day and sumdays I just feel like she still with me but I know she’s gone but have a really fun teacher now she is a lot of fun and she is really good on the harp she makes the harp more fun and more accessible to me

Gina was able to teach me the basics. Gina help me learn the basics on lever harping and pedal harping, and now I am with my current harp teacher and she is helping me learn more advanced harping.
I really enjoy playing the harp with my new harp teacher! Lots of fun!
Not many teachers would take somebody with so many disabilities like I have. Gina and my current harp teacher both took me.
Gina will always be a part of me and I a part of her, at least we have that in common.
I have something to remind remind me of her my Peadl harp,
I named my harp after my very first harp and voice teacher!
That’s how I can keep my memories of her.
Maybe you should name a favorite thing after your teacher that is moving on! A stuffed animal, an instrument, Of favorite drinking glass that your teacher drink out of! I’m just trying to help.

[emily-jaeger]

Thank you, Angela, for understanding my grief. I should have mentioned that I’m only 20 and in the middle of working towards a music degree, so trying to make it on my own is not an option. This is the most important time in my life concerning music. I just don’t know how to accept someone new for the next three years as I finish my degree.

[tracey-kjonegaard]

Might be a long stretch but perhaps you could see if he’ll offer lessons over skype? I’ve seen a lot of teachers offer it and I don’t know how well that works but considering you’ve been his student for awhile (as opposed to being a brand new learner), it might be a viable option?

[emily-jaeger]

Tracey,
He did leave that as a possible option, but I’m just not sure if it will work. Surprisingly, my harp lessons are currently over Skype because I couldn’t find anyone in the area who could take me through college work. But I don’t see piano working as well because of the volume and resonance it has vs. harp. Plus, I have had a couple of in person lessons with my harp teacher, and so I know from experience that even though Skype “feels just like they are there” there really is a huge difference/ disadvantage. I thought about possibly having two teachers. An in person lesson with someone new once a week, and then do one or two a month over Skype, but I’m concerned with having conflicting views for the music. I have heard of several advanced harpist having two teachers. Has anyone here done that? How did it work for you? How did you not feel like a volley ball being passed back and forth every week with ” teacher #1 told me one thing but teacher #2 told me something else”?

[Tacye]

Can he recommend other teachers you might get on with? I really doubt he is planning to just walk away and leave you to sort it out yourself.

[tracey-kjonegaard]

Hi Emily,

I don’t have experience with skype lessons- like I suggested, but I like your idea to maybe work with two teachers. If he can recommend someone to you, perhaps it might work out to work with him on skype, and his recommendation in person. In regards to the sound quality and whatnot, I understand where you’re coming from with that. Not sure if anyone else knows but I have a really nice USB BlueMic that I use on my computer and to record. I haven’t used it to record on an actual piano before (I only have a keyboard right now) but you might be able to find a mic that would work for this purpose, if you look around at different USB mics. You could always try that out and if it absolutely doesn’t work on skype with him, then you may just have to settle for the teacher that he (hopefully) could recommend to you.

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