Contracts for church gigs?

[David Ice]

I know many of the string players and woodwind players (at least from last year’s orchestra) and I will be chatting them up–probably not on site but at other gigs with other groups! I don’t know how I could padlock the harp or make it unplayable BUT I could leave the pedals in some weird setting to see if it changed. And I will also take my mike pickup home with me, along with the proprietary pre-amp!

I know I sound redundant, but this is the 3rd year with this church and the first two years were totally fine and professional–and it’s the same music minister/conductor and the same support personnel. I don’t know what happened this time out–and it’s not like I was the problem! I was ALWAYS at least 30 minutes early to tune, I was always appropriately dressed, always professional, always sober, always prepared, etc. I never caused any issues, scandals, or scenes, so nothing makes sense–other than the Tinkerbelle hypothesis suggested earlier. My total fee would have been less than .5% of the budget. So go figure…..and yes, it’s turned into the weirdest of gigs EVER for me, out of 30 years of performing! (And trust me, I’ve had some doozies!)

The animals, I will say, are VERY controlled, and they are only onstage for about 5 minutes tops. The rest of the time they are outside in a holding pen (which I hope is heated) so there’s absolutely no issue with the harp and Bengal tigers!

My only rehearsal is next Monday. God grant me the strength to know what I can’t change…and what I MUST.

[jimmy-h]

I’m really glad your sharing all this. Thank you. This is like part mystery novel, part sitcom miscommunication script, and a bit circus maximus.

[lyn-boundy]

Just thread a fine chain around the strings and padlock it. Admittedly they could get this off by unthreading and rethreading every string but the performance would be over before they’d finished.

Seriously though, it’s too late for you to do anything now but suck it up and swear you’ll never play there again but, if it helps, I think there are going to be a lot of people out here thinking of you and wishing you well, both on Monday and throughout the run of the show. At least the feeling of relief when it’s all over will be worth all the problems you’ve had.

[Alison]

Well good luck, hope you can sight read thro’ most of it by now, maybe you can lock your harp away in their office, but you have to choose somewhere with a consistent temperature, & you could weave a sheet of some paper into the strings and see if it moves, or don’t take your best harp.
BTW wonderful graphic Jimmy !!

[alexandra-baldwin]

Yes, the tiger and harp graphic is epic!

[carl-swanson]

David- When you are done for the night there, and you will be leaving the harp for several days before you play again, why don’t you switch middle C with the B string right next to it. Just leave it that way until you come back again.

[Gretchen Cover]

Oh, jeez, you guys are creating a problem where one doesn’t exist. David has wide spacing on his harp. That will kill a harpist not used to it. Besides that, he will have removed his pedal caps – or at least the B and/or F – for the convenience of any harpist who might use his harp. He could also wrap a bicycle lock through his strings.

[catherine-rogers]

Years ago when I had a restaurant job (ah, those were the days!), I didn’t want anyone messing with the harp when I wasn’t there (I played at night but the restaurant was open for lunch). So I put a couple grommets in the bottom of the cover at the zipper to hold a padlock so the cover couldn’t be removed unless you knew the combination. Worked great!

[David Ice]

Ok gang, here’s the latest:

Dress rehearsal tonight. I get there at 6:26pm. Rehearsal was to be 7-9:30pm.

I find the whole orchestra already playing. Seems the rehearsal was moved up to 6PM “and emails went out to everybody yesterday.” Nope. I didn’t get one. Awkward moment #1.

Turns out there is no music stand for me. Awkward moment #2.

There is no chair for me. Awkward moment #3.

There is no music stand light for me. Awkward moment #4.

There are no microphones or any audio leads for me. Awkward moment #4.

All the orchestra got a “cut list” with notes about cuts/adds to the parts. Except me. Awkward moment #5.

Despite their promises, there was no “book” for me at all. I had my own downloaded parts, but apparently the 22 tunes had mushroomed to 28 tunes, and I had no idea what the order now was, or any other changes. Awkward moment #6.

At this point I’m wondering if enough is enough and I should just disappear into the darkness (which is want they wanted me to do, anyway). But I yanked the cover off the harp and was able to hit the downbeat of the first official number of the show. I was able to figure out the cuts–there are only so many ways you can slice and dice JOY TO THE WORLD, after all!

Eventually, the above mentioned items were slowly corrected, including some incomprehensible gesticulations from the conductor which I later learned meant “cut from bar 12 to bar 44, and repeat 46 2 times.” I will leave it to the reader’s imagination what those gesticulations looked like in a real world setting.

I also figured out the reason behind this whole mess. It would appear that there is one “renowned pianist WIlliam Joseph” who aggresses upon a grand piano for two numbers: GOD REST YE MERRY GENTLEMEN and CAROL OF THE BELLS. Apparently he was brought in be bring “star power” to the production, and hence no budget left over for the iconic instrument of the season.

So….I don’t think there is some other Tinkerbelle playing harp–although the conductor did visibly blanche when I told him I was taking home the book (which did eventually arrive 45 minutes into the dress rehearsal) because I needed to mark the cuts and pedals on the new numbers. If there is a Tinkerbelle, she won’t have a book to reference for the next three days!

Also, I have no intention of making any markings whatsoever in said book, being that I already went to the time and expense of downloading 20 tunes already and marking pedals and fingerings. I have no intention of surrendering my hard-won playability to a gig that doesn’t want me in the first place!

For those who like visuals with their soap operas, I’m including a few shapshots from tonight’s rehearsal……

[David Ice]

Here are a few more photos….

[David Ice]

More…..

[David Ice]

One more….

[David Ice]

One last picture

[lyn-boundy]

Well, thank god at least for rehearsals! Just imagine turning up on the night and having to get through all that – at least now they have had the chance to put all those things right. I do hope they think this is worth their while for one year of having a VIP player because next year they’ll have lost their long-term, professional harpist because of it (oh, plee-ee-ee-ase don’t let them tempt you back!)

To be honest David, I think you are treating them far better than they deserve and I hope they’re grateful but do remember that the place to draw the line is once their behaviour makes you or your performance look bad, so don’t let that happen and make sure they know you won’t allow it. If they think there’s a chance of you getting up and walking out in the middle of the performance (I know you wouldn’t actually do that) it just might bring them to their senses.

[Angela Biggs]

Oh my goodness, David. I’m so glad I don’t live in a place with those resources. That kind of excess in such a venue makes me ill. My husband said, “What if this is a big fundraiser, and that’s money is going to go for something worthwhile?” But even if that’s so, I’m sure there are ways to raise money with a better return on the investment…. And look how badly they’ve damaged an important relationship. Good heavens. What a mess.

[Author]

Posts