quitting

[Misty Harrison]

One of my students is 15 and wants to quit. She plays well and has done a lot but she started late. Right now she is rebelling against a lot of things and the harp has become one of them. I don’t want to loose a good student with a lot of potential but I don’t want her continuing if she doesn’t like it. Any suggestions?

[kay-lister]

Let her go!

[tony-morosco]

True, if she really wants to quite then that is her decision, and hopefully she will come back to it at some point.

The best I can suggest is to just talk to her about why she wants to quit. Listen to her, and just let her know that it is her decision but that you are sorry because you think she has real potential.

In the end, however, you really don’t know if this is just a rebellion thing or if she really just doesn’t enjoy it. Just because she may be rebelling against some things in her life now that doesn’t mean that every decision she makes is just a matter of rebellion. She may simply not enjoy playing and so wants to explore other things.

In the end it is her decision. You can give her encouragement, and you can give her an ear to listen, but what she really will need is respect for her decisions.

[elinor-niemisto]

A wise friend of mine has a policy:

[Dwyn .]

How about just “lightening up” on harp studies, rather than quitting altogether?

[Misty Harrison]

Well the student called and said that she was just angry at her mom and feeling unhappy, and that she doesn’t want to quit but just said that.

I took your advice though and made a lighter lesson assignment for her, suggested she take a short break since she’s had a lot of competitions and recitals in the last few months and I really like the idea of the farewell recital. I’ll keep that in my back pocket.

[Saul Davis Zlatkovski]

That’s a great idea, Elenor, but it wouldn’t have worked on the teen I had recently. It’s a tough call.

[Saul Davis Zlatkovski]

Sorry, Elinor.

[sherry-lenox]

Once in a while you run across a student who is very type-A and needs to be convinced of h/h talent more than the average student. Once assured that they’re doing a great job they settle down and get back to work.

[unknown-user]

After playing harp for 12 years, I quit in college.

[Misty Harrison]

I forgot about this post! My student didn’t quit after all. She was just having a rough time with her parents and pulled it out as something to say to them. It does worry me though because obviously there is an issue on some level or she wouldn’t have pulled it out at all.

[janelle-lake]

Thank you for the idea of the farewell recital!

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