December 10, 2009 at 9:22 pm #108814Saul Davis ZlatkovskiParticipant
Larry Lobster and Sam Clam where best friends. They did everything together. The only difference between them is that Larry was the nicest Lobster ever and Sam, well lets just say he was not so good.
Larry and Sam did so much together that they even died together.
Larry went to heaven and Sam went to hell.
Larry was doing well in heaven and one day St. Peter came up to him and said, “Larry, you know you are the nicest clam we ever had up here. Everyone likes you but you seem to be a bit depressed.
Tell me what is bothering you, maybe I can help.”
Larry said, “Well, don’t get me wrong Pete, I like it up here and everything, but I really miss my good friend Sam Clam. We used to do everything together and I really miss him a lot.”
St. Peter looked at Larry with pity and said to him, “I tell you what, I can arrange it so that you can go down to hell tomorrow and visit Sam all day. How would that sound?”
This made Larry very happy and he got up bright and early the next morning and grabbed his wings, his harp, and his halo and got in the elevator to hell. When the doors opened he was met by Sam. The hugged each other and they were off. You see in Hell Sam owned a disco. The spent the day there together and had a great time. At the end of the day Larry and Sam went back to the elevator together said their goodbyes and Larry got back in the elevator and went up to heaven. He stepped off the elevator and was greeted by St. Peter who blocked the doorway to heaven. He looked at Larry and said, “Larry Lobster, didn’t you forget something?”
Larry looked around and said, “No, I don’t think so I have my halo and my wings.”
St. Peter looked at him and said, “Yes, but what about your harp?” Larry gasped and said, “I Left My Harp in Sam Clam’s Disco.”December 10, 2009 at 9:24 pm #108815Saul Davis ZlatkovskiParticipant
Bucky the Turtle and Sam the Clam
There once were two friends by the names of Bucky and Sam. But they weren’t ordinary friends, being that one was a turtle, and the other a clam. If you can’t figure out which is which, refer to the title of the story. Well, one day Bucky the Turtle and Sam the Clam were doing one of their favorite activities, which is to play in traffic. One can imagine how dangerous this is, considering the locomotive skills of the respective species of turtle and clam. But let’s be honest, that’s why Bucky and Sam loved it! Well, one day Bucky and Sam were playing in traffic, and along came a semi, which has remarkably better locomotion skills than either turtle or clam, so it crushed them. Very sad.
Bucky the Turtle took the express elevator to heaven, being an all around great guy. However, Sam the Clam wasn’t as upstanding of an animal citizen. He could be pretty nasty at times. He had one major character flaw: Sam Clam was a little shellfish (rim shot). So, when Bucky got to the pearly gates of Heaven, he looked around, and he was a little surprised to not see his bud Sam. Ok, he wasn’t that surprised, he knew Sam pretty well, and had to be at least pretend to expect him. On his way in, Bucky confirmed it with Saint Peter, his pal Sam was in the Other Place.
Bucky couldn’t find much to occupy his time in Heaven, having always looked to Sam for such things. So Bucky the Turtle sat around and moped. But not for too long, cuz he’s a positive thinking kind of turtle. Eventually, Bucky the Turtle decided to do what everyone else does in heaven: play the Harp. So, he got himself a beautiful golden harp and began to play it all day, and all night (kind of, this is Heaven after all). Since Bucky couldn’t think of anything else he wanted to do, all he did was play his harp. This went on for eons. Eventually, he got so good at it, he recieved the Command Performance of all command performances: he was asked to play before God.
So Bucky took up his little golden harp and went before the big guy and began to play like he’d never played before (if you don’t appreciate how difficult this is for our hero Bucky, I
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