Joint Custody Practice Habits

[melissa-gallant]

I have a fairly new student who came to me after starting with a different teacher. She is a high school sophomore. Her parents are divorced and share joint custody of her. Unfortunately, the joint custody doesn’t seem to apply to her small folk harp. The student spends part of the week with her mother and part of the week with her father, but the harp doesn’t get moved from house to house, so she gets very little practice time. From what I understand of the situation, on the parental trade off day, one parent takes her to school and the other one picks her up. The parents don’t see each other and don’t go to each others residences. I’m wondering what other harp teachers have experienced with students’ divorced parents and how they ensure their child has access to an instrument for regular practice time. Thanks for any input or suggestions!

[Angela Biggs]

I don’t have any personal experience with this, so this is just an idea. Have you tried calling the school and talking to the band and/or orchestra teacher(s) (or suggesting it to her parents)? I wonder if they have an extra equipment locker where your student could store her harp on the switch-off days — or store it indefinitely so that she could use a free period to practice her harp while actually at school. Schools deal with divorce situations all the time, and in my experience, public school music teachers really go out of their way to accommodate students with obvious home-related struggles. I hope this works out well for her!

[aaron-walden]

I suppose the obvious answer is a second harp, but I know that is probably not practical.

[Briggsie B. Peawiggle]

Great idea. When I was teaching school (the past 21 years — recently retired), I kept my Troubadour harp in my classroom. One girl studied with me and used it to practice on before or after school. I had no problems hanging out while she practiced. I ALWAYS had work to do anyway.

[Calista Anne Koch]

I have this situation with 3 students. One carries her harp to and from school on the days that she gets picked up. Just as suggested above, the parents spoke to the bad director and requested a place to keep the harp safe (since she was in the band, it wasn’t an issue). One of my students grandmother picks her up, and most weeks they seem to be able to arrange to get the harp to the grandmother’s home for the 3 day stretch that she has them… I can always tell when the harp doesn’t make it. The last student spends weekends with her father and they don’t get the harp (mostly b/c he doesn’t want to have his time with her taken up with harp). It is my hardest situation to deal with b/c the child comes on Monday for lessons and hasn’t seen a harp since Thursday. I would have to say that this poor little girl won’t be taking lessons with me for long if we can’t convince the father to be more reasonable.

[Tacye]

You can add an extra practice day by practicing before school instead of after, or vice versa.

[melissa-gallant]

Thanks for the suggestions! I did suggest to the student and her mother in person that they talk with someone at her school about having a secure place to store her folk harp. I also mentioned that suggestion to her father in an email. … Every lesson since then has been cancelled. I don’t think the motivation to learn the instrument is really there.

[Jeralee]

Perhaps it wouldn’t be a good idea for the harp to go to the other home for various reasons. My 11 year old plays violin, I teach harp and piano. I understand the importance of practice. However, there is no way I would allow her to take her violin when she stays over at her dad’s. I know that 1. there is a possibility that it won’t be taken care of 2. It probably won’t be practiced either. Especially when dad is not a musician, can’t read music and has very little interest in what she is doing with violin. So, if that means she only practices 4 days a week, then so be it. Retention is more important in the long run. I don’t want her to quit, so we take what we can. So regarding your student, It may also not be a feasible option to haul the harp back and forth especially if they are renting it. Be encouraging where you can, but also flexible in these situations.

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