An open letter to a bridal magazine

  • Participant
    David Ice on #144707

    As a vendor at the recent Bridal Fashion Debut bridal show in Phoenix, Arizona on June 10, 2012 I was given a copy of your magazine.

    What distressed me was an article. In it the author states “if the DJ’s already there for the reception, you just have to adjust the time for the ceremony…’s cheaper than bringing a harpist or a guitar player in.”

    The advantages of having a live musician—an instrumentalist—for the ceremony are huge, and I feel this has been totally neglected and our contributions ignored. Indeed, with the possible exception of the Phoenix Boy’s Choir, I can find no other ceremony musicians advertising in your magazine. And, given the above statement, I can guess why.

    Why do I feel this way? Let me explain, and please, really think about what I’m saying.

    Let us assume that a DJ is providing the ceremony music for a wedding ceremony. Now, I’m not picking on DJs at all. This is just the physical reality of how things are.

    All it takes is one lost bobby pin and all the timings, rehearsals, and planning go out the window. The ring bearer starts to cry, and simply refuses to go down the aisle. (I see this more often than not!)

    The DJ 73 seconds of recorded processional music. And the kid refuses to budge. What is the DJ going to do? All he can do is hit REPEAT.

    Jerusha Amado on #144708


    I hope that they listen to you!

    susan-koskelin on #144709


    What a perfect letter! I have tried to tell brides this very thing so, so many times. My stock statement to brides is, “It is the musician’s job to make sure your ceremony proceeds seamlessly.”

    You stated everything so well with your anecdotes. My example is the wedding where the bride had forgotten the groom’s ring, and the mother jumped up to run to the dressing room to find it. She was gone at least five minutes, and I just started to play and continued til she returned. The mother and the bride both mentioned in their thank you notes how appreciative they were of that.

    Hopefully the bridal magazine will change their attitude!


    David Ice on #144710

    Hi Susan,

    That’s such a perfect story!

    catherine-rogers on #144711

    You have it completely right. If only non-musicians in the bridal profession would listen. And you’re right about the magazines: if they mention the ceremony at all, it gets short shrift compared to the reception. For too many people, it’s all about the party, never mind the real reason for the occasion.

    eliza-morrison on #144712

    All true, all good points. I’ve had to shorten/lengthen processionals and recessionals more often than not. It’s also true that people respond to the beauty of live music, of the instrument, of a real human being playing it. It’s warm and personal and beautiful, and wedding should be nothing if not warm, personal, and beautiful. We can hear canned music in the grocery store, at the dentist’s office, on hold with Verizon tech support, etc. Live music brings LIFE to the occasion and is unique and memorable. This is a special and sacred moment in one’s life, is it not? Honor it!

    David Ice on #144713

    Brilliantly put!!!

    Susan Abken on #144714

    Thank you, David Ice! It’s downright TACKY to use recorded music. You put it well.

    tony-morosco on #144715

    Indeed, that’s what I would expect at a quickie wedding chapel in Vegas where you can get married by someone dressed like Elvis.

    If you are trying to make your wedding even a little classy then nothing does it like live music, be it a harp, organ, piano, string quartet… whatever. To steal and paraphrase from Twain, the difference between live music and canned music is the difference between lighting and the lightningbug.

    David Ice on #144716


    HBrock25 on #144717

    David, did you send the open

    David Ice on #144718

    YES I did send the letter to the publisher…a physical hard copy by US Mail.

    rosalind-beck on #144719

    David, Edna Phillips’ husband Samuel Rosenbaum used to say that recorded music is like a kiss over the telephone.

    David Ice on #144720

    That’s brilliant!

    shannon-schumann on #144721

    David was kind enough to allow me to post his letter on my blog, so at least it will be public somewhere, if not the bridal magazine.

    I added two you tubes that bring the point home.

    Sorry for the plug; I’m new at the blog thing and kind of over-excited about it.


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