Arguing with me

[Calista Anne Koch]

I have a student’s mother that is very intersted in her daughter’s progression and a dedicated parent.

[Evangeline Williams]

Did you let her know about some companies’ rent-to-own programs?

[diane-michaels]

She may just have bad consumer habits which don’t mean she’ll have bad parent habits.

[sherry-lenox]

My harp teacher works with kids, adults, and OLD adults (me

[Elizabeth Volpé Bligh]

Occasionally I have had students come for lessons after they have already purchased a lacklustre instrument. We usually work with it for as long as they’re making progress, but if they are not doing well, I tell the parents that the student will practice a lot more if they enjoy the sound they are making. The problem then, is, as another thread asks: Where do the bad harps go?

[carl-swanson]

The parent sounds very narcisstic. This means that she is not going to listen to anything you say, AND THEN, if she gets a bad instrument, will blame you for not advising her properly. So I would suggest you go into ‘cover-your-butt ‘ mode. Put all of your advice down on paper. What you recommend, and what you don’t, and why. Tell her you’ve made this handout for your students and give her a copy. That will relieve you of any responsibility if she looses her shirt on something terrible.

[frances-duffy]

I had a similar problem with a student’s mother…it started with her sitting in on the lessons and questioning my teaching and ended with her attempting to purchase a harp on Ebay without consulting me.

[Calista Anne Koch]

Carl,

[Anonymous]

I have seen people repeatedly stung by buying harps on e-bay.

[unknown-user]

This is a tough one, so comiserations to you Calista. Well, I think everything that everyone has said is good and you have done as much as you can. Putting it into an information sheet is a good idea, and I’d just

[rosalind-beck]

Calista, I once had a student ask me about the wisdom of purchasing a very, very old harp she saw at an estate sale.

[unknown-user]

If their family budget only allows for one of the ebay rosewood harps, then you could suggest a Harpsicle in its place. You can put legs on these. :o) I can show you photos and such as i’ve had tons of fun with using these as starter harps for low-income students.

It is common in our profession for people to have no respect for the knowledge of trained musicians. They simply consider that they know as much. We live in the age when “the customer is always right”. Give them your informed options, then let them learn the hard way as they appear to require that method. I’ve had students who bought those harps either against my advice or without ever seeking it in the first place. I feel sorry for the kids involved and so we do our best together. Sometimes the harps crack beyond usage, sometimes they last a few years. It’s a crapshoot. :oP

[unknown-user]

How did it resolve Calista? Hope it went well,

Curls.

[Calista Anne Koch]

After trying again to explain all the reasons not to 1) rush into a purchase and 2) why “you get what you pay for”, I convinced her to hold off until I could locate her a good used one.

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