Struggling with my daughter's new harp teacher

[Saul Davis Zlatkovski]

I think everyone is grossly over-reacting to this, and no one should be encouraging someone to leave a teacher who is not clearly in the wrong and who probably needs the income. She has not said if the teaching was effective or not. It seems to me like this mother should step back. The teacher deserves a length of time and after at least a semester or so, then evaluate how your daughter feels about the lessons and if she has improved or not. A “nicer” teacher might not be effective.

I am careful to express myself in a supportive way in lessons, so that corrections are understood to have a positive purpose, but I am very direct and clear. I could imagine someone might take that as a negative, if they had a certain expectation or attitude that was different.

As for other comments, Bernard Zighera should rest in peace. He was a wonderful harpist and inspired me. All high-level teachers have faults, like anyone else, and we all take our chances with them. I did have one teacher who once made one rather unpleasant comment. But she was famous for making jokes, not nasty comments. I can’t think of even one teacher known for nasty comments in lessons. How would you know, unless you studied with her? Why do you say such things?

My teacher, Lucile Lawrence, was critical, but never nasty. She was a philosopher of the harp, always thinking and searching out valuable ideas. She had, to be sure, her own taste and views like any artist. She was incredibly inspiring, intelligent, and attracted many of the most talented and intelligent students of the harp. The one comment I have heard and made from every student after a lesson was, “She was wonderful.” I sometimes added, “Olympian.” She had a longer career than almost anyone, and saw and participated in making history. So you definitely can’t be talking about her. I have, however, heard people make nasty comments ABOUT her, which were totally uncalled for. Great people tend to attract that kind of jealousy and envy that causes negative comments.

Most performing arts students have to give up what they love just to work. Some reach such a high level of artistry that it is impossible to sustain it in the real world, or they prefer to leave it unsullied and move on. Others take what they have learned and apply it in other professions and become great successes. And some have dual careers. I know two harpists who are both harpists and lawyers. Practical matters get in the way, no matter how good one is.

[Biagio]

Saul, you may be right, but I really don’t see everyone over reacting. What I do sense are two approaches to early training and that would be the same whether the subject matter is harp or mathematics. There are and should be middle grounds but let’s take two extremes.

At the one extreme is what I might, as a son of two professors and a teacher myself, call the “Victorian”. There is an a priori assumption that the student is expected to follow the teacher’s rigorous direction without question.

At the other, which I will call the “Maria Montessori”, the teacher is more of guide and the student is expected to explore with his or her guidance.

[Interesting factoid: Dr. Montessori was an early enthusiast of the Clark harp. But I digress’]

I feel very strongly that a good teacher is capable of some measure of both approaches, but with a student at an early age he or she would, IMO, tend more toward the latter. There are youngsters who are completely focused on their future profession and the former more rigorous approach would be appropriate.

But I would contend that those are in the minority and one of the worst things that a parent or teacher can do is to push those children to the point where they hate the discipline. I have seen too many intelligent, even brilliant children have their love of learning utterly crushed and alas that is all too frequent in both music and mathematics.

Let us bear in mind as well that Amy’s daughter is only nine, the harp in question is a lever harp, and the child’s previous music exposure has been via the Suzuki Method. Based on this information, it does not seem to me that she is preparing for a career with the concert harp. I could of course be wrong and as we all know the preparation time for that is very long in any case.

On the other hand, I have also seen excellent teachers’ enthusiasm and even reputations tarnished by parents with unrealistic expectations and unwillingness be “hands off”. Few things aggravated me more than parents telling me how to run my math and science classes!

In your remarks you seem to be making the assumption that this parent and child are looking at least a quasi professional career in music. If that is true then I would tend to agree with your approach. Excellence comes from devotion and discipline. If that is not the case – if the desire is for a good grounding in music and the harp but not a vocation – then not so much.

Perhaps some have suggested just “dumping” the current teacher but I guess I missed those. Most seem to be saying, “Talk it over, give the teacher and your daughter more time” which certainly seems to be the most sensible to me.

Biagio

[lunarnacl]

After reading your description of the lesson, in which the teacher corrected you daughter’s hand position, I think you really owe it to your daughter for find another way. When I was young and taking music lessons for the first time, back in the 60’s and 70’s it was very typical for music teachers to approach things this way. Criticism was harsh because music students “needed to learn to take it-music is competitive, it’s not for those who can’t handle it”. The emphasis was on finding the most talented and weeding out everyone else. Not that all teachers felt that way, but enough did, and it was kind of a mind-set. That attitude did a lot of damage. Kids who could have found great enjoyment in music had their hearts broken, or, at the very least, never had that experience that should be open to all people who want to put in the time and effort.
Of course, professional musicians paid the price in empty symphony halls.
Learning to play isn’t only about preparing to perform, although that is important. Learning to play is about deepening the experience of music both as a player and as a listener.
Your daughter needs to experience the joy of feeling and hearing herself play and make music. She needs to want to make that sound so much that she can’t wait to practice. As for hand position, if approached with a mindset of searching for the music, she should first find that she can make a beautiful sound, and then she should discover that the sound is even better and easier to create when she uses her hands correctly. Approached from that point of view the music itself becomes the motivation to practice improved technique. It becomes something practical that opens up her musical experience, rather than something painful that destroys her confidence as a musician.

[janet-king]

Scratch your average civilian on the street, and you’ll hear horror stories of truly killjoy music teachers in their past. (It’s a theory, but I’m sticking to it.) I hate that. I suspect that it’s a culture, especially in the classical world, that gets passed down, like an unresolved trauma. There is no need for it.

At the risk of commenting on a situation that I really don’t know enough about…

Please, feel free to walk away from a teacher who does not encourage joy in playing. Be ambitious for a better situation that involves LOVE of playing and LOVE for your child. What is the point, otherwise!?? Do we play the harp because it’s good for us? Under doctor’s orders? Because it’s required??? No, we play for the love of it. So keep the joy in it.

[patricia-jaeger]

Amy, many responses have come to you, after your post about the teacher and your young daughter. I learned violin first, from before age 4; and became professional after two degrees from a Conservatory in New York. My study of the harp began later at age 37 and carries no formal degree, just 9 solid years of private lessons with a former Principal Harpist of our large Symphony who was very kind and likable. In the 1 and 1/2 years of my first violin lessons, before my family moved to another state because my father’s employment changed, I had a Russian emigre violinist as a teacher because my mother, an excellent piano accompanist accompanied that Russian lady in many recitals in New York, Washington, and over the radio. That violinist had fled Russia because of the revolution, and never married. Probably she had a very difficult life before coming to America, but in any case, her lessons brought tears to me since she had a brusque manner and I was not used to that. Nevertheless, she taught me good enough technique so that in my first and only recital before we moved away, where she presented her students, I was able to play a student Concerto with three movements, my mother accompanying. In my next family home, my new teacher never caused a tear and I blossomed under his kindly manner. Under his lessons I passed the audition to the Conservatory after high school graduation and those five years were profoundly happy for me. I was able to teach both those instruments privately and also at colleges of two and four years. Decide soon whether your daughter should stay with a teacher producing tears instead of joy; I was fortunate that we moved away; all the later teachers smiled and gave me welcoming words.

[balfour-knight]

Amy, please update us on this situation. I hope that things are going well for your daughter, if she is still with that teacher, or if you have made a change.

Best wishes,
Balfour

[Saul Davis Zlatkovski]

Excuuuuuussssssseee me, as Steve Martin used to say. There is NO room for a Montessori approach in the harp world. One cannot play it well by inventing one’s own technique as a child. That is wasting precious time. Not that a teacher needs to be harsh about it, but proper position must be learned FROM THE FIRST, and maintained. Too many harpists suffer from lax teachers, and have to struggle to learn how to play well in college or even later, for not having been shown good position and finger action, whatever the method used. Learning good habits from the start is essential and children are perfectly capable of doing so without tears. I have seen the exquisite playing of harpists who learned well from the start, and what a difference. Look at Heidi Lehwalder, learning to play from Lynne Palmer. Lucile Lawrence always took beginners for this reason.
And I am irritated by teachers who studied with great teachers but do not pass their instruction along to their own students. Fortunately, there are some teachers who can renovate a student’s playing in relatively short order. And my students have been so grateful for it. It makes life so much easier to be able to play well.

[Biagio]

Excuse ME Saul. While I agree that a solid rigorous foundation is essential if the child is destined to excel professionally in any endeavor, it is at best narrow minded to make that assumption when she is at the tender age of 9 years. I am not suggesting that a parent waste their money on what amounts to “play time”, but I do suggest that there are appropriate levels of guidance at different stages of her development.

I do not know of your familiarity with Maria Montessori’s work (which with respect appears to be limited), but let me point out that her “Stages of Growth” principles have been adopted successfully by almost every professional education and social psychology institute for the better part of the last century. I see absolutely no rationale that the harp should be an exception.

Let me give you a practical example, in this case from the ballet. Mdm. Tatiana Semenova was a brilliant teacher, with colleagues stretching from Diaghlev through Balanchine. Madam taught Kirov style which is perhaps the most demanding for strength and endurance, and in her professional and pre-professional classes she was equally demanding and ruthless. However she also accepted and taught child beginners; her emphasis in those classes was on balance and rhythm – “Feel the music” in her words.

In her higher level classes she had a cane and would whack you if you did not give everything you had. Trust me, I know! Totally different approach with the children and when I asked her once about her teaching philosophy her answer was – “My dear friend Maria Montessori.”

Pardon the heated response, but it seems to me that your focus and references are to people who aspire to a professional career with the concert harp. That’s fine and I applaud it, but please recognize that that is a very small percentage of the larger music community.

Some here may take offense at this next statement but I will put it out there and take the heat. The pedal harp is not the one and only true harp and the techniques are only one of many. Anyone attempting classical Salzedo or French technique on a clarsach, cross strung or South American harp will soon find themselves throwing it out in frustration at the agonizing noise. But I think that few would say that a Cynthia Cathcart, an Alfredo Ortiz,or a Harper Tasche is not a consummate musician.

If there is no joy in making music what is the point? You will not encourage joy in a young child if they are not encouraged to discovery. Good technique YES, but that can be taught at the same time that the child explores as well. That is how children learn to speak, to read, and to write!

Biagio

[Allison Stevick]

Amen, Biagio. AMEN. 🙂

[carl-swanson]

Biagio- Very thoughtful response, which I agree with entirely. The bottom line is: A negative approach to anything is non-productive and makes the recipient perform worse, not better. I could go on for hours with examples to illustrate this. This doesn’t mean that the teacher has to lower his/her standards. it simply means framing the teaching in a positive rather than negative light.

The saddest case of this concerns a relatively recent winner(1st prize!!) of a major harp competition. She was a child prodigy and enormously talented. But her mother sat next to her every time she practiced, and if she did something wrong or made a mistake, would hit her! A friend of mine who knew her and her story told me this. A few years after winning the competition, the girl entered a convent, giving up the harp! You can see videos on youtube of this incredible girl playing, and she’s truly astonishing. What a sad ending…

[Amy Harper]

Once again, I must thank you all for your thoughtful and passionate responses. Life has been so very busy this last month, which has not allowed much time online, but I will post a quick update, and more later as time allows. I did eventually have a talk with my daughter’s teacher, and happily it has made all the difference in the world. She is teaching the same concepts to the same high standards, but her tone is so much kinder, gentler, more encouraging. My daughter is no longer timid at lesson time, and she seems to be genuinely impressing the teacher with her progress thus far.

And to clarify, we are not looking for training as a professional harpist at this time–just a solid appreciation for and love of music and an instrument as beautiful as the harp.

[carl-swanson]

Amy- What a great outcome! I’d love to know what you said, because it was obviously very effective. It may be that this teacher just didn’t realize how her words were coming out. Hard to believe, but sometimes that is the case.

As an occasional teacher myself, I would never presume that any student I am teaching is destined for a professional career. The only expectation I have is that they make progress. If they are not making progress, either because they never practice, or they are abysmally untalented, then I don’t want to teach them. I don’t want to waste my time or their money. But that happens only rarely. It’s so great that you found the perfect solution.

[Biagio]

That is good news Amy! I am delighted as no doubt is everyone else on this forum. Yep we can get passionate but shucks that is only because we love music, love the harp, and really hope that many others will:-)

Sometimes kids do not show the teacher those things they may show to their parents, so kudos to you all. I hope that you and your daughter will enjoy a lifetime of beauty with this marvelous instrument.

Blessings to you and to your daughter,

Biagio

[balfour-knight]

Amy, I also am truly delighted that all this has worked out, as Biagio said. I hope your daughter really enjoys learning to play this beautiful instrument, the harp. It is my very favorite of the three instruments I play professionally (the others are the piano and organ) and I feel that it is the most beautiful instrument ever invented! I started on the piano, and always played it like a harp, and got to the harp as quickly as I could and I have never regretted it.

Best wishes, and we hope you and yours have a wonderful holiday season!

Balfour (and Carol Lynn)

[karaskovalada]

If she teaches well, don’t look for another teacher! Friendly, nice teachers produce lazy students with bad technique. It’s a good thing for kids learning an instrument to be a bit afraid of their teacher!

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