Harp Healing for Depression

[unknown-user]

Dear Susan

If I have learned one thing, it is that what ever feels healing to you, IS healing. It is different for everybody.

My eldest son died by suicide (aged 19), 18mths ago. I cannot tell you what a horror suicide bereavement is…..an extemely complicated grief…a mother-son cellular loss. During the period of ‘madness’ (for their really is such a thing as the madness of grief)….I lost my brain. A perfectly normal person for 48 years….I developed a stutter, I couldn’t follow a thought, finish a sentence – such was the assault on my nervous system. I took no drugs but sunk a few cases of wine in that first year.

A little part of me knew that there was a huge task ahead of me to gather all the pieces of my heart and brain off the floor and out of the air, and somehow glue them back together. A little educated part of me knew something about the loss of habituation and the opportunity to cash in and learn while I was relearning to be me. Here was my big chance to learn music theory and an instrument and with a teacher, instead of mucking around with instruments as I have done for many years. I was quite clinical about it in one sense…..but as soon as I wondered what to learn, the harp leapt to mind – it literally flashed into my mind. I had no long held ambition. A 3 second decision. Done.

When I told my harp teacher this, she said to me ‘The harp chose you’….by the way, her fist name is my sister’s name and her last name is my mother’s name. So it all slotted into place. Thank you cosmos.

I started playing 5 mths after my son died…the ‘healing’ takes place in a space that is not of this world – the rushing, busy, illusionary world that early suicide bereaved do not reside in. It is painful and it is sacred.

Yes, I am forging ahead now, and am very happy with what and how I am learning (love my teacher), but I also like sitting at the harp and doing as you have described….just playing single notes slowly….engaging no ‘thought’ as such. My teacher is especially supportive of this. If I am away from home for a few days, I always get teary when I play those first few notes. I don’t know why exactly…I suspect it may be a kind of bat-phone to my heart.

Whatever works for you, is yours to pursue. I wish you the very best and am pleased for you that you recognise this healing experience. Take care.

[jessica-wolff]

It occurred to me that my chosen instruments are all instruments you put your arms around and make the sound very directly with your own fingers. I think that should be very appropriate.

[susan-b]

So sorry I didn’t reply earlier. I took a few week break from reading from reading emails, and just saw yours. I’m so very sorry for your loss. As the mother of a 22 year-old-son, I can’t even imagine the pain, grief, and suffering that you have experienced. And, my thoughts and prayers are with you.

I’m so happy “the harp chose you”, and that it’s helping you heal. While I returned my rental harp, and am back to playing my Autoharp, I am using it in the same way. You’re right, there is a sacred feeling when I listen to the notes, and they continue to speak to me in a way that nothing else does. I have found that by placing my Autoharp on my heart, and listening to the resonance of the sound, I always feel better.

I’m so glad you have found a supportive teacher, and hope that the harp continues to provide solace.

Although we are strangers, know that I feel great compassion and empathy for you. Tonight, as I play my notes, I will be thinking of you and your son, and sending healing thoughts your way.

[unknown-user]

Thank you.

[susan-b]

I agree. Now that I’m back to playing my Autoharp, I can hug it on my heart, and it works wonders!

[Author]

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