Can’t learn, whats an option

[Ken H.]

Hi Gillian,

[Mira Devi]

Hi Gillian. Sometimes I found myself frustrated too. Frustration means (obviously) that you’ve run into a problem and haven’t found a solution. So I agree with the other posts which suggest you try something new (new teacher, new songs, etc). The thing that helped me the most was my determination not to become defeated by the challenge. Learning the harp is a daunting task for me. But I have passion about rising to the challenge and kicking it in the rear end (so to speak). I am also passionate about beautiful songs that I like to hear and feel a need to play. So my suggestion to you is twofold:

#1: Take control of your lessons. I did this and am having so much more fun. I pick out really interesting music I want to learn and bring it to my teacher to help me. I couldn’t stand the music she was picking out for me so I’ve stopped that from happening by going to the lesson armed with my own material. I don’t always understand her communication style very well, so I push her to re-explain things to me in different ways and also give me visual demonstrations often (since I am a visual learner). Now I am getting what I want and need from my lessons. Plus, she is a talented harpist and just tells me straightforward everything I am doing wrong and how to do it better. This give me lots of concrete things to work on. And when I work on those things, my playing progresses. So find a teacher that can show you where you are stuck and give you the ways and means to move forward.

#2: Find your passion. What is it that drew you to the harp in the first place? The beauty of the instrument? The beauty of the music? Personal goals, etc.? Whatever it was, you need to tap into that passion and let it re-ignite you in a way that continuously propels you forward. I keep my passion alive by choosing music I absolutely love. Then I am super-determined to practice and play it well. I know that one day, I will be able to play it for others and share my passion. This is why I am doing it!

Hope this helps and I wish you empowerment and passion in your harp pursuits!

[Ann]

I’m going to distill a few of the great suggestions above, and add one of my own.

As said above, try going “do it yourself” for a while without formal lessons. You now have a good foundation with the teachers you’ve had. Use Pamela Bruner’s or Sylvia Woods’ DVDs to “brush up” and

[John McK]

“The pieces were boring to me and I hate reading music. I can do it, but it’s hard and I avoid it at all costs.”

Are you in an ensemble learning required pieces?
Are you in an academic program with required pieces?
These are rhetorical questions.

Why put yourself through this?

Find some music that *you want* to play. If you can get a teacher’s help with that, go for it. If not, drop the teacher. Taking music lessons should NOT be like algebra class or tax season.

FWIW, Maybe you could try a summer course or workshop. My first formal lessons were from Billy Jackson, before I even owned a harp. He gave me a great start and enough to work on for months to come.

[Saul Davis Zlatkovski]

It seems clear to me that your expectations and approach to study are what are causing you frustration. Your teachers have been trying to instill a disciplined approach, and to get you to refine your work. You want to play and have fun, and progress through playing. I started out that way. However, it won’t take you very far. It depends how far you want to go, but you might try being more open-minded, and to ask for very detailed instructions on how the teacher wants you to practice and for what goals. What you learn from classical training will totally support and enhance anything you do with folk music. Much of classical music is based on folk music. Ask your teacher to give you such music and show you the connections. Folk music is often based on patterns. Classical will teach you how to play patterns and ones that suit the harp. I think you should give your first teacher another try, or else the second. The harp is not at all easy, it takes a long time. Try committing to five years of study and practicing for an hour a day. You’ll be surprised at where it can get you. I think you are just expecting too much, too soon, with too little effort.

[Julietta Anne Rabens]

There have been many great comments here. In the OP you mentioned feeling overwhelmed and incredibly frustrated just sitting behind the harp. Depending on how severe the emotional reaction is, a first step could be to just sit behind your harp every day, breathe deeply and slowly, and work towards a sense of peace before even trying to play. Make the lighting in the room beautiful, possibly play your favorite harp recordings, and sit with relaxed shoulders, breathe in deeply and with with each exhale say the word “relax”, or “peace”, or something to recreate a more positive association.

A next step could be to just close your eyes, remain relaxed, and pluck the strings, listening deeply to the sound and enjoying the way it feels. Be no place except the present moment experiencing the simplest beauty the harp can offer. Then you could move on single melody lines of your favorite tunes and really get lost in how beautiful the phrasing can be.

From the level of physical tension and emotional frustration, you will need to regain a sense of focus before regular practice anyway, so what I am suggesting here is to practice refocusing before you even get back into your regular practicing of music. There are many social and mental pressures that can remove a person from the experience of their harp. It is important to be able to let go of those and really feel and hear our instruments in a state of pure peace and relaxation.

[kathy-chanik]

Julietta, that was beautifully said.

[olivia-diamond]

Yes, you can. I am an older student

[aleksandar-djuric]

You said: “I never felt like I ever finished anything.”

In my opinion, the beauty in music is that you never truly finish any peace. Just imagine how boring that would be! Sure, you can push it to your limits until you reach the top for your current level of playing, but after a few years I am sure there would still be loads to improve.
This should not be a reason for you too feel stressed about.

For me personally, the best thing for relaxing is just sitting at my harp, and playing one base tone and enjoying it’s sound. It always draws a smile on my face, and makes me remember why I love this instrument!

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