Thank you all for so many helpful suggestions!
Sounds like I need to modify my expectations of myself. This fear of “failure” is keeping me from enjoying an instrument that I truly do love. Getting away from classical repertoire is such a good suggestion; I was so focused on audition/orchestral pieces when I was younger that I never really played anything else. It’s a good idea to look for inspiration from others on Youtube or other sites. And considering who’s in my audience would probably help with nerves 🙂
I think I pushed and was pushed sufficiently that I don’t really know how to have fun with the harp. I want to work on rediscovering it, actually enjoying it — to where it’s not about achievement or success, making a good return on the pedal harp investment or making parents/teacher proud. I want to really love it, like I did when I was six. Thanks all.