Re: Tears

Participant
unknown-user on #87939

My teachers certainly had no patience for it, and if you started caving
in, they would zero in on any weakness and really make you wail!

I have to be upfront here. I have no tolerance for that level of emotional violation of a student. I completely disagree with that approach. It is a remnant of our tribal mindset and more primitive motivations socially. Sociologists can verify that shaming a student into learning/obeying is the method used by cults, communistic governments and abusive individuals. How is there a place for that in teaching? Yes, music is an ideal towards which we strive, but it is completely unethical imo to violate a human being in order to achieve that. There is no excuse for zero empathy, regardless of stature and intelligence. Shame on anyone who deliberately attacks someone’s emotional weakness. Shame on them, whoever they are.

I
never let that happened, I put my back up, my spine, and I needed that
in orchestra situations later on. What is shocking is when a student
cannot appreciate this approach and wants to be indulged, even a
grown-up. Oh, well. What can you do, really? How do you handle tears?

I admire your inner strength, Saul. It is not about wanting to be indulged. It is about being respected as an entire human being, not a musical robot. I have experienced this from both ends, and the solution is not hard. You simply ask the student if they feel able to proceed with the lesson. If they say ‘no’, then that is to be respected.

How can we as musicians communicate with sensitivity and meaning in music if we cannot achieve this with simple verbal exchanges? This has baffled me for sometime, and it makes me wonder if artificiality can translate into sincerity in the minds of the innocent.