-If the person is not educated about attending deeper, more thoughtful performances, then they will mirror back by assuming the person asking them to be quiet was the rude one-
That hasn’t been my experience. When I’m forced into the position of having to tell someone to be quiet, they don’t make another sound, and they don’t talk back to me, because they know they are wrong. Making noise or disruptive behavior at performances(talking, whispering, opening candy, even arriving late, including getting seated again after intermission!) is nothing more than thoughtless self-centered behavior, and my experience is that they will continue to do whatever thoughtless behavior they are doing until someone tells them to stop. So I can either tell them on the first or second offense that they are out of line, or I can wait 20 or 30 minutes to tell them and the result is the same. They will do their behavior until I or someone else tells them to stop, and then they stop. If many more people would speak up when someone is behaving badly, then word would eventually spread that certain behaviors are unacceptable at performances.