Bucky the Turtle and Sam the Clam
There once were two friends by the names of Bucky and Sam. But they weren’t ordinary friends, being that one was a turtle, and the other a clam. If you can’t figure out which is which, refer to the title of the story. Well, one day Bucky the Turtle and Sam the Clam were doing one of their favorite activities, which is to play in traffic. One can imagine how dangerous this is, considering the locomotive skills of the respective species of turtle and clam. But let’s be honest, that’s why Bucky and Sam loved it! Well, one day Bucky and Sam were playing in traffic, and along came a semi, which has remarkably better locomotion skills than either turtle or clam, so it crushed them. Very sad.
Bucky the Turtle took the express elevator to heaven, being an all around great guy. However, Sam the Clam wasn’t as upstanding of an animal citizen. He could be pretty nasty at times. He had one major character flaw: Sam Clam was a little shellfish (rim shot). So, when Bucky got to the pearly gates of Heaven, he looked around, and he was a little surprised to not see his bud Sam. Ok, he wasn’t that surprised, he knew Sam pretty well, and had to be at least pretend to expect him. On his way in, Bucky confirmed it with Saint Peter, his pal Sam was in the Other Place.
Bucky couldn’t find much to occupy his time in Heaven, having always looked to Sam for such things. So Bucky the Turtle sat around and moped. But not for too long, cuz he’s a positive thinking kind of turtle. Eventually, Bucky the Turtle decided to do what everyone else does in heaven: play the Harp. So, he got himself a beautiful golden harp and began to play it all day, and all night (kind of, this is Heaven after all). Since Bucky couldn’t think of anything else he wanted to do, all he did was play his harp. This went on for eons. Eventually, he got so good at it, he recieved the Command Performance of all command performances: he was asked to play before God.
So Bucky took up his little golden harp and went before the big guy and began to play like he’d never played before (if you don’t appreciate how difficult this is for our hero Bucky, I