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I agree with the fact it is important to let a space between the harp and the shoulder.
Gretchen, some people can play during a lot of years without pain or problems, and some people who have exactly the same technique will not, It depends of our body. If you have no problem also you are lucky. But when we have a problem we learn to listen to our body and to do better gestures and positions which are more efficient to play healthy.
Before my shoulder problem I didn’t notice the weight of the harp too whereas I was playing a lot of hours per day (on pedal harp). Most of the time we are not aware of what happens inside our body,
As Emma said, Alexander technique is a good approach to learn to listen to our body and be aware of our position in the space. There are also Feldenkrais method or Resseguier method which can help.