This article extra is part of the feature article Off Season Training in this issue.

I have been a harpist for over 20 years and have been playing weddings for at least 15 of those. During my time playing for weddings I have dealt with my fair share of demanding and difficult brides. We all know the type: the bride who wants extra time to meet with you, emails you every other day checking in, and specially requests the most obscure repertoire that you need to arrange. These are inevitably the weddings we walk away from with the most outrageous stories that we can’t wait to share with our harp friends. “Can you believe this bride?” I would say, “She was totally crazy!” And my friend would reply, “She sounds absolutely unreasonable!” My dad has joked for years that I could write a book about all of my wild wedding experiences.

The stories all start the same way, “Once upon a time I played this wedding for a crazy bride…” So when I became engaged two years ago I swore an oath that I would not become a bridezilla. I pledged to remain calm and be a different variety of bride; one that would be clear and quick to make decisions, but also one who would be willing to go with the flow. Being a wedding vendor myself meant that I would be far more understanding and easy to work with. Or so I thought.

As my wedding day crept closer, I struggled to get answers and specific information from my vendors. I suddenly felt what it was like to be on the other side—to be the bride communicating with all the vendors and navigating the endless flow of information. It was overwhelming and confusing and, well, I might not have remained as calm and together as I would have liked. As much as it pains me to admit this, the word “bridezilla” was used to describe me at least once, to my knowledge.

One positive outcome from this crazy wedding experience (besides marrying the love of my life and getting to celebrate the day with my family and friends, of course) was learning how I could be a better vendor and hopefully make the wedding planning session easier for my bridal clients. I loved all my wedding vendors, and was thrilled with the quality of their products and services on the day of the wedding. However the quality of communication leading up to the wedding was seriously lacking. My communication skills as a wedding vendor are something I had not put too much thought into before finding myself on the other side of the unanswered email or phone call. In the past I have taken my time responding to difficult brides, I have given false timelines (promising to send a contract one day and then sending it several days later), and I have asked for information I already had but didn’t feel like looking up. I am not proud of it, but I have done it. I realize now that I was only making it harder on the bride, making the process more complicated, and not exactly instilling a lot of confidence in the quality of the service I would be providing.

If you, like me, want to cultivate a clientele that is less like a band of bridezillas and more like a bouquet of blushing brides, then try followings these simple steps. I am already feeling the difference in my own business. Brides are thanking me for my timely response, and I am feeling more professional and organized. It is a win-win situation.

  • Use clear, detailed subject lines in your emails. Make it easy for brides to sift through their email to find exactly what they need to know about the harpist for their wedding. You are just one of many vendors for the Smith wedding, so a subject line of “Smith wedding information” isn’t going to help that bride find what she needs quickly. Instead, try a subject line like “Details for Aug. 6 Smith wedding ceremony harp music.” Not only will this likely head off a panicked call from the bride who can’t find your song list in her email, but you will be able to easily find what you need when you are preparing for the Smith wedding.
  • Provide a clear contract. Don’t send contracts with unconfirmed details on it like missing times and pricing. I went through three contracts with my hair stylist with all kinds of misinformation and incorrect pricing. Make sure that all the information in the contract is accurate before sending it. If a revision is needed, make sure it is done as quickly as possible. Being clear in the contract will avoid headaches later.
  • Answer email and send out contracts when you said you would. If you indicate that you will answer the bride’s question by the end of the day about the recessional song title, then make sure you do it that day and not a week later after she has emailed you a second time. Lots of my vendors promised contracts or other pieces of information by a certain date but then were unable to follow through. The most notable of these was the vendor for my wedding rings, who promised to deliver our rings on Monday, and then Tuesday, and then Friday—you get the idea.
  • Respond quickly to emails. This one is just common sense. If a bride asks you if you need an extension cord for the wedding ceremony, make sure to answer quickly. The information may not seem important to you, but it might be one piece of information in a large pile that the bride needs to report back to the venue. Your responding quickly will both make the bride feel at ease and show your level of professionalism.
  • Make the bride feel like she is your only client and her wedding music is important to you. Don’t make the bride feel like she is just another number. Although my photographer was amazing, there were many times where I felt like I was waiting in a queue.

Take it from a recent bride and reformed wedding harpist, these are simple tweaks to your business that will pay big dividends.